Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Them Hollywood Nights

I passed this morning like a thief in the night, pulling out of the driveway around 4:40 am after a restless sleep the night before. That was nearly 24 hours ago, and even the southern California air is barely keeping me alert now, at the end of a very long day.


The past few weeks have been a series of goodbyes – they don't get any easier, even when you know you're headed for something really cool and worthwhile, and that both sides of the sendoff really want you to take this giant leap of faith. This morning was that bittersweet tearing in two – now that I'm in motion though, I'm ready for the adventure to begin again. The connections between Halifax and Toronto went surprisingly like clockwork, especially when you consider that the U.S. customs officer asked me where I was coming from and I panicked and couldn't remember, so I blurted, “Uhh, Newfoundland . . . wait, no, I was just in Halifax!”

It turns out I made it through just the same, and went from being lethargic (one last cup of Tim Horton's may have helped) to real excited, in a real big hurry. A thick layer of cloud (and rain on the ground) followed me from Deer Lake to Toronto, but once we got over Lake Michigan, the clouds opened up and I could see the world beneath me. A bit of snow, few plains . . . and then all of a sudden, these snowy peaks of mountains started jutting up all over the place. Other than whizzing over the Pyrennes about a year ago, I've never seen a real-live mountain before (unless you count the snow-capped peaks of Pine Hill in Pasadena), so there was plenty to gawk at 30,000 feet below. We had the mountains in Colorado and as we came into Utah, and then it was like we blew off course and ended up flying over Mars, with all the dusty plains and ridges, and somewhere in the midst of that desert Las Vegas appeared. We're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy (note: at no point today was I anywhere near Kansas).


And finally, a sprawling urban mass (some 4,000,000 people, the second biggest city in the country) opened up at the base of the Santa Monica Mountains, and we were in Los Angeles. It was just past 3:00 in the afternoon (a warm day in January, in the mid-teens), but I had already punched in a full day travelling (could not – would not – think about that, and ruin this one short day by getting sleepy). Before I actually started packing and realized how stupid it would be, I gave serious consideration to buying a cardigan and wearing it as I stepped off the plane.

Y'know, so I could say I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan.


Surprisingly, even traversing this major airport was a simple matter of following the leader. Miracles of miracles, my big ol' blue backpack was waiting for me on the conveyor loop, and the FlyAway shuttle bus came not long afterwards to carry me off to Union Station, a major rail station as well as a central landmark in downtown Los Angeles.

As the bus filled up, a dude sat next to me. I do the logical thing: I say hello, how are you. I kid you not, within 5 minutes (we were still stuck in traffic, not even thinking about freeway speeds yet), I was explaining to him my life plan and why there was a cod moratorium in Newfoundland twenty years ago.

“That's a spot I've never been, Newfoundland,” he said (he just got back from a motorcycle trek of Columbia and, yes, he pronounced my island home wrong). “You've got something to look forward to – in New Zealand, you're going to be the unique, exotic one.”

I hadn't considered that before. I was so caught up in the totally different world I'm about to enter that it literally never crossed my mind that, to them, I'm going to have the accent, and I'm the one coming from a little island on the other side of the globe. Funny thing, this perspective thing.

Anyway, my friend had been living in Los Angeles on and off for the past 20 years, so he was able to act as a tour guide, pointing out the University of Southern California, the Staples Centre, the Hollywood Sign on the not-so distant hills, the various districts within LA, and even mapped out my best (and cheapest) way back to the airport tomorrow evening. As we passed the building where his gym is, I asked if he worked nearby.

“I'm semi-retired,” he said. “I'm involved in film these days.”

Oh?

“Yeah, I was in Europe last year for 4 or 5 months, associate producing a film. What About Love – Sharon Stone is in it.”

So I shook Bill Sloan's hand and proceeded to look him up on the Internet as soon as I had a connection – and it turns out he wasn't bluffing. He told me he just bought the rights to a book that he wants to turn into an upcoming film, based on the life of abstract expressionist painter Joan Mitchell. That's Hollywood for you.

From Union Station, I found the Metro Red Line that stops at the Hollywood/Highland station. The underground system here is nowhere near as intricate and complete as the one in, say, London, but it worked out perfect for me, opening right at Hollywood Boulevard with the Hollywood Youth Hostel right across the street.

I couldn't check in right away, so I dropped off my bags and started to wander, eyes darting back and forth between checking out the names along the Hollywood Walk of Fame and looking up at the bright lights and razzle dazzle of the city. As I came to Grauman's Chinese Theatre (still within that same area), the road was blocked off.

“Oh,” I heard some undoubtedly jaded Hollywooder say, “another premiere. It's worse in the summer, there's one every week!”




Of course there was a movie premiere outside my door. Why wouldn't there be? So, I did the natural thing – I got right up in the crowd barricaded on the other end of the street, even if I have no intention of ever seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Last Stand. The former Governor was present, as was Luis Guzman (I saw him in an on-flight episode of Community this afternoon) and Gene Simmons. I mean, it's not the A-listers or anything, but it still counts, right?


After I checked into my room and threw my things together in semi-haphazard organization, I went out again. It was a nice night, a slight chill but not enough to kill off the palm trees that are just all over the place. I wandered up around the Hollywood Hills, up around Mulholland Drive, and came to a big bare hill by the Hollywood Bowl. Now, I had no map with me, but my vague sighting of the Hollywood Sign earlier this afternoon told me that, if I wandered up this darkened path, the lights of Los Angeles would meet me in panorama. If I brought a girl with me, this would be the scene in the movie where I'd kiss her. I started to climb up the path, but something occurred to me: I could actually get into trouble here. Not stealing a glass from the bar kind of trouble either – there could be a dude waiting in the bushes, ready to attack some stupid kid who goes out into the dark woods by himself. Or this could actually be trespassing, and people might not look too kindly on the aforementioned stupid kid. As I went over this things in my mind, a helicopter flew overhead, and my first thought was, “My God, someone saw me on the road, called the cops, and now they've got the searchlight on me and footage of me is interrupting every major network across the country tonight. Now I'll never get to pick kiwis!”

So, I bolted back down the hill. Fortunately, it turns out the Hollywood Sign was nowhere near me. More fortunately, if that was LAPD looking for me, they never got me.

Near exhausted, I went back along the main drag, up into a residential area that looked secluded and lavishly Spanish, like there might be a movie star behind any given gate. By the end of it, I just about collapsed over a burger from Burger King (it's true what they say about portions here – more than a few fries and about a litre of soda went in the garbage, and I don't even feel bad). It's another long, long day tomorrow, and even a whirlwind tour of a massive city has to calm down at some point.

Before I left home, I meant to really study the night sky, just to see if I would notice the differences when I got to the Southern Hemisphere. It turns out last night it was too cloudy, but somehow, despite the flashing lights on every building and the skyscrapers reaching into the night sky, the stars are in fine form tonight.

That's Hollywood for you.

Cheers,
rb  

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